Help - My Friend is Gay!
By Kori Ashton

What happens when a friend comes out to you and says that he/she is gay? Think what it would be like to take your personal journal out in public and let everyone passing by read it - your intimate, secret thoughts exposed to the world. Would you feel scared and anxious? That's exactly the anxiety that might be in your friend's mind when she decides to come out to you. So, what would you do?

a. Never speak to her again and avoid her like a bad perm.
b. Ask all your friends if they knew she was a lesbian.
c. Wear a sign that says, “I’m Straight and She Ain’t!”
d. Remain her friend and show her God's true love.

All sorts of thoughts can flood your head. As a Christian - how should you respond? As a straight person - how can you relate? Let’s talk through the most common questions you might confront in a situation like this?

Do I still hang out with her?
Your friend is still the exact same person that you've laughed with in the past - except now, she has come to a place in your friendship where she really trusts you and wants to be honest with you about her true self. Sharing her sexuality with you was probably one of the hardest things she's ever done. This should only strengthen your friendship.

This doesn't mean that you have to be pushed into a situation if you feel uncomfortable. Explain to your friend that you are supportive and not judging her, but ask if you can hang out in situations or places that feel comfortable to both of you. Hopefully she will show you the same compromising love and your friendship will only get stronger through these honest moments.
Dig Deeper: Proverbs 17:17

What if she says I’m judging her?
Sad to say even today the GLBT community is still a target for prejudice and hate. Part of the fear that keeps people in the closet is the fear of people judging them and hurting them not only with words but also in actions.

A gentle attitude goes a lot further than explosive anger. Educating yourself is a great way to learn how to love your friend in this tough time. Visiting websites like ours and reading more about how to support your gay and lesbian friends is a wonderful start on becoming an accepting, healthier person.
Dig Deeper: Proverbs 15:1

What if people think I’m gay because I’m her friend?
Anyone — straight or gay — should always be treated with respect. Straight people who fear that other people may think they're gay need to know that it's not an insult to be thought of as gay.

Hanging out with a gay or lesbian person won't make you gay. You probably won’t be able to stop everyone from saying mean things about you, but once they see that you don’t question your sexuality and that you’re secure in who you are, they won’t have anything to joke about. Don’t get me wrong: You don’t have to prove you’re straight. Just live your life to be an example of Christ! That will be proof enough!
Dig Deeper: Matthew 5:16; Ephesians 5:1-2

So what is the best way to respond to a gay friend?
The most important thing is not to condemn! The best thing you can do when you have a friend who comes out to you is to extend the same compassion and understanding that you would want from others.Continue to care

Remember, you don’t have to hang a gay pride flag outside your house or attend the next local pride march - just be a friend love her with God’s love. The Bible reminds us that no one is perfect and that, as Christians, we all rest in God’s grace.
Dig Deeper: Romans 3:23

Super Important:
As Christians, it’s our responsibility to let our light shine and show the love and truth of God. Everything you say or do will prove your faith and show God’s love to your friend. So, if you’re ever faced with a friend coming out to you, the best way to respond is answer “D.” Strive to be there for them, and love them with Godly love.
Dig Deeper: John 13:34

Help - My Friend is Gay! By Kori Ashton

Help - My Friend is Gay!
By Kori Ashton