Overcoming Fear
By: Wilma Ditterline Foster

What would your life look like if you had nothing holding you back? What would you do? How would you live differently if you knew you would be accepted? What keeps us from being authentic and transparent with our fears and struggles and even our triumphs? I think the answer lies in fear. Fear that others will see us as something we are not, or even something in which we really are. Being a part of the LGBTQ population and a Christian, I have spent much time in fear. Fear of not being enough or not measuring up to what my church, family, or friends wanted me to be.

I spent so much time being scared that I think at one point I forgot what it was like to be real and be myself. If I knew I would be accepted I would go out and start a speaking career and I would write that book I’ve wanted to write. I would apply for those jobs I’m passionate about but feel I may not quite qualify. I would say hello to that girl sitting alone at the bus stop. Maybe I would say something to someone that would cause her pain to lessen. Maybe I could be a friend to her or live a life that shows him that he is okay in who he is despite what society may say. Could I do these things?

Why does fear hold such a grip in our lives? 2 Timothy 1:7 tells us that God does not give us the spirit of fear, so why do we accept it so readily into our lives? Does it go along with our need to not think too much of ourselves, or the fact that many of us simply think so little of ourselves that we can’t imagine having the confidence to get over our negative self-talk? Have we become so comfortable in the fear that we see it as a friend because that’s easier than trying to overcome?

Maybe I’m asking more questions than I am answering, but I’m right there with many of you. My confidence waivers and I wonder if I’ll ever accomplish what I really want to accomplish. I wonder if I will ever have someone look up to me like I look up to someone else. I often think there is no way I will be able to write that book or have people ask me to speak to their congregation and give my testimony, especially knowing I’m gay. But you know we’re all in this battle together. I think some of these people I wonder about probably have the same fears as I hold onto. Do you? I think it’s time for a small step. Maybe acknowledging now in my writing that I don’t have it all together; admitting I want to overcome this fear, maybe that is my small step. Maybe it’s my beginning of conquering this fear. What is your small step?

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT REPRODUCE © 2011, Wilma Ditterline Foster